scene: last night at the medici, 11:25pm, five minutes before closing.
sfx: phone rings.
kylie: "medici on 57th." (cutting out the "this is kyle, how can i help you?" considering that i refuse to help anyone five minutes before closing.)
customer: "'ello, can i make a pick up order?"
kylie: "well, we close in five minutes, and so the kitchen is already closing up."
customer: "i can't even get anything quick?"
kylie: "no, i'm sorry, nothing takes less than ten minutes in the kitchen."
customer: "oh... and what's your name?"
(at this point i'm thinking DAMMIT because for one, usually when people ask for my name it means they're going to call back and complain to a manager. and for two, this customer was a REALLY HOT SOUNDING BRITISH GUY.)
kylie: "my name is kyle."
customer: "and how old are you, kyle?"
(and at this point i'm thinking SWEET because usually when people ask how old i am it means they're hitting on me. which he was.)
kylie: "i'm seventeen."
customer: "seventeen! why you sound like a lady already. lovely. would you happen to know the legal consenting age in the united states, kyle?"
kylie: (totally hitting on this guy!) "well in the state of illinois it's seventeen."
customer: "lovely! would you mind if i popped by there to say hello to you?"
kylie: "well... you should know that my mother is also working here with me tonight."
customer: "well that sounds lovely, how old is she?"
kylie: (totally taken aback) "she's thirty nine. how old are you?"
customer: "how old do you think i am?"
kylie: "i have no idea."
customer: "where do you think i'm from?"
kylie: "well you sound like you're from england."
customer: "that's right. a lot of people say australia, but i'm 100% british."
kylie: "yeah, you sound british."
customer: "indeed. well kyle, how about you take a look out of your pick up window?"
AT WHICH POINT I LOOK AT THE PAY PHONE, WHICH IS FIVE FEET IN FRONT OF ME, AND I SEE JAMIE LOOKING AT ME, HANGING UP THE PHONE AND LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF!!
yeah, i was made fun of for the rest of the night.
0 kids told me how it was so far
next time - last time - first time - this time
